This is taking a while…

by amyesacove

I’ll admit it: I was convinced that once I made “North Blvd” all the pieces would fall into place with little effort and I would have a film career. Wow.

The truth is, it takes a while. When you see a little independent film poster out there with about 20 mentions of film festivals and wins, that’s at LEAST a year, if not two, of countless submissions, rejections and frustrations. It takes a while. I have had a few private screenings of “North Blvd” and as wonderful as the audience response has been, I realize something as I’m watching: my film is too damn long. As I am just now really really delving into writing workshops and learning more about story structure (“North Blvd” was the result of a burning desire to tell a story based on my life changing experience of meeting my birth parents) I realize I have so much to learn and that FUCK the staircase keeps going. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

There’s no “making it” in any career.

There is always something to learn.

Insecurities exist at every level of success.

I’ve cooled it with the submissions for the moment. I am working on a shorter version of the film. Which isn’t hard. I see repeated information and scenes all through it. No matter how beautiful the shot, I have to let those scenes go. Ruthlessness.

I’m also starting work on a new screenplay. I am SO uncomfortable. And here’s the hardest part: I have to get a job. What kind of job will fulfill after making a 13 year long dream come true? After directing my first feature film? I am going to suck it up and make something happen. Looking forward to getting out of my head. I need somewhere to go every day. I need to be “in the world”. I need human interaction. I need money.

If you’re new to my blog: here is where you can watch the trailer for “North Blvd”:

Until next time!