in the eye of the storm
It has been way too long since I wrote. What am I thinking?! I am supposed to be chronicling the happenings of the film! OK enough beating myself up. I had a wonderful experience performing the one woman show version of the story in Houston…for the last time. I even remember, as I was preparing and even performing that boy oh boy was I ready to be done with this monster. I mean, really, getting on stage and vomiting out your family shit is not fun. For ONE WHOLE hour.
Then, you might ask, “If you’re done telling the story, why make the film?” Well that’s just it! The story is still wonderful! I just can’t take the live theater performance anymore. I get to now collaborate with others and tell the story on camera. I get to cast actors, dictate the shots and locations and really be in the flow with other people! I am now in Los Angeles. I just got off the phone with a very good friend and we discussed how amazing it is that just 7 months ago, I was in Austin, Texas just starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I knew I had no other choice. I couldn’t take doing any other job. I mean what was that all about?! I taught Yoga for 7 years?! ugh. Not that I don’t practice. I can’t live without doing my yoga but as far as teaching it? My new motto is: “FUCK YOGA” all of it. The culture, the crazy personalities, the arguments about what is and isn’t a fucking backbend? sorry. Had to vent.
But once I was done, I was done. I left Austin, performed in Houston and now I am in Los Angeles. I have hired a Line Producer, a Lawyer, a 1st AD, production designer and held a preliminary casting. I am scouting locations and last night our Indiegogo campaign ended. I mean a LOT is happening. “North Blvd” is becoming a feature film. I am moving forward every day. Learning something new with every step. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, and other times, I know I am incredibly focussed and clear. So I just keep moving forward. I trust in the vision that I have for this beautiful little story. I have an amazing director of photography interested- need to wait and see what his schedule is and stuff is HAPPENING. I can’t get over it. 13 years of wanting to do something and its here.
Funds are almost fully raised. The Indiegogo campaign was aggressive. We went for 60,000 and came out the other end with 38,000. Not bad. I feel like it is enough to get us through preproduction. My brain is fried. I am working through the weekend on location notes and and shot lists. I have a conference call tomorrow with my line producer and my AD. We’re aiming for a 19 day shoot. “North Blvd” will be shot in 19 days?! wow.
Every day I wake up and know that at this point, my fuel is my faith. My faith in the universe is so strong. I feel so incredibly connected. Everything that I have asked for, I have gotten. In its own crooked and turbulent way, it has shown up for me- even showing me my own crooked and turbulent self. Now, as I begin to mature on this path, things are becoming a little more elegant. My instincts are strong and I am trusting myself like I never have before.
“As soon as you learn to trust yourself, you will know how to live”. ~Goethe